


Roger's In The Cupboard

by hobyblack



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Crack, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-19
Updated: 2019-01-19
Packaged: 2019-10-12 11:52:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17467046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hobyblack/pseuds/hobyblack
Summary: Roger refused to come out of the cupboard until the band agreed to use "I'm In Love With My Car" as the B-Side for Bohemian Rhapsody. But why did Freddie agree?





	Roger's In The Cupboard

"Where's Roger?" Freddie asked. "I haven't seen him all day." His tone was whiny like he thought it was horribly rude of Roger not acknowledge his presence. Brian knew that this was not going to go well. Things between Roger and Freddie never went exactly smoothly. There were two of the most dramatic people Brian had ever known, even if they were his best friends.

"Roger's in the cupboard," Brian said casually.  
  
"The cupboard?" Freddie asked.

"Under the sink in the kitchen. He says he's not coming out," Brian said. He didn't mention why Roger wasn't coming out. He was refusing to leave the cupboard unless they agreed to make "I'm In Love With My Car," the B-side for Bohemian Rhapsody.  
  
Freddie walked down to the kitchen. "You know darling, traditionally it's a closet people hide in."  
  
"Fuck you, Freddie," Roger said, confirming that yes he was hidden inside the cupboard and it was not a joke. He was in a mood. Freddie hated that. He was the only one allowed to have moods! "I'm not coming out unless you give me the B-side."  
  
"The B-side?" Freddie said. "The only song you wrote on the record is _I'm In Love With My Car_."  
  
"Exactly," Roger said, his voice muffled in the cupboard.  
  
"No," Freddie said. "Have fun living in the cupboard."  
  
"Freddie," Brian said. "Maybe you should talk to him. I mean he might listen if it was you..."

"Brian, you said it yourself. The song isn't strong enough," Freddie said.  
  
"It's a great song!" Roger said.  
  
"Roger, it's not that good," Brian said. "It can be on the record. It can't be on the B-side." And that was  a big enough sacrifice.  
  
"B-Side or I'm not coming out," Roger said.  
  
"What are we going to do?" Brian asked Freddie.

"Well, we're not going to give him the B-Side, that's for sure," Freddie said. "Roger come out."  
  
"No!" Roger said. "You don't respect me. We don't respect my music!"  
  
"Roger, you're drunk," Freddie said. "And of course we appreciate you."  
  
"Yeah, we appreciate you and your music, Roger," Brian said.  
  
"I don't care about you!" Roger yelled.  
  
"He doesn't care about me, but I'm supposed to respect him?" Brian said. "Honestly, he's a child."  
  
"Roger, what do you want me to say?" Freddie asked. "Come out, love."  
  
"No, I'm never coming out!" Roger said.  
  
"Roger, is this really about _I'm In Love With My Car?"_ Brian asked skeptically.  
  
Instead of answering, Roger started singing. "Gotta feel for my automobile..."  
  
"Roger..." Freddie said. "I'm going to come into the cupboard."  
  
"What?" Roger said.  
  
"Is... there room?" Brian said. "What's your angle here, Mercury?"  
  
"You can't come in here!" Roger said. "This is my cupboard. Get your own."  
  
Roger was trying to hold the cupboard closed while Freddie was trying to pull it open. Brian went to help Freddie and the door slung open.  
  
"There is no way you're going to both fit in there," Brian commented.  
  
"Just leave me alone to be miserable in my closet!" Roger said.  
  
"It's a cupboard," Brian said.  
  
Roger had a bottle of whiskey and was crying in his cupboard.  
  
"What's wrong?" Freddie asked.  
  
"I'm in love with my car," Roger said nonsensically.  
  
"No, you're not, Roger," Freddie said. "What's really wrong?"  
  
"I'm hiding in the closet," Roger said.  
  
"It's a cupboard," Brian said.  
  
"Shut up, Brian," Freddie said. "He's talking about the other kind of closet."

"You're gay?" Brian asked Roger.  
  
"Only for Freddie," Roger said.  
  
"Roger, come out of the closet and out of the cupboard," Freddie said. "You need a hug."  
  
"Only if I get the B-side," Roger said, suddenly stopping crying.  
  
"Freddie, don't you do it, ho," Brian threatened.  
  
"Come out of the cupboard, love," Freddie said.  
  
"You promise?" Roger asked.

"I promise," Freddie said.  
  
"Dammit, Freddie!" Brian said.  
  
Roger came out of the cupboard and squeezed Freddie in a tight hug. "Thank you, Freddie!"  
  
Freddie kissed him on the cheek. "Of course, darling."


End file.
